god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Just invented taco cereal.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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