I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
