i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
