wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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