just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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