and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
sarcasm needs its own font
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
