Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
