Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
