Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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