That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
