Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
