is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
