Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
