Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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