Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Randomize
