You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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