Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
