You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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