Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
