I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
