The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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