Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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