I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
