I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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