I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
