I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
