If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
