wat bout pragnant strippers??
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
