Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
