And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
i think my cat just said my name.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
