haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
