She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Vodka?
Forever.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
