I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
We need to get me chipped asap
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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