Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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