what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
