So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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