what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
