end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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