She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
