I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Randomize
