oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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