is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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