oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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