i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
