i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
