ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
