new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
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