Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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