drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
