haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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