I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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