the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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