is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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