do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
