So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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