It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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