he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
