Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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