I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
