Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize