I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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