Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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