is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
