apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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