So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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