Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
